For Parents
Strategies for Effective Parenting
Parenting is incredibly important, hard, and rewarding work. How many times have we heard the phrase “children don’t come with a manual”? Truthfully, MOST parents are just figuring things out as they go, doing the best they can. And you know what? That is A-OK! There is no one RIGHT way to raise children, and learning along the way is a fine way to approach this very important job! Nothing like “on the job training”, right?
That said, there are some great tips to keep in mind for parenting, and so we asked BWC clinician Michelle LaFerle for some tips on effective parenting, and she provided us with the following very important highlights:
⇒ Being a great role model
And by this, we mean, try to demonstrate the characteristics and values you want your children to have. These traits – such as respect, compassion, honesty, kindness, patience – go a long way in helping to raise a happy, healthy and successful adult!
⇒ Encouraging your child’s self-esteem
Find opportunities to offer your child praise! Help encourage your child’s independence by exposing them to new experiences in which they can learn and stretch themselves. And always remember that children learn by example, so please watch your own self talk. If your child hears you being kind and compassionate towards yourself, they can learn to do the same. Temper criticism with praise and hope for improvement.
⇒ Avoiding comparison
We do suggest that you avoid comparing your child with other children – both inside and outside the family. Children grow at their own pace, and all children (just like adults) are different!
⇒ Offering unconditional love
Children can really push our buttons and boundaries! This is NORMAL, and a necessary part of growing and becoming their own people. Make sure that your child knows you love them, even when they make mistakes.
⇒ Connecting with your child
Find and create times to spend time together, showing interests in their activities. Try to engage when they want to talk. Even with a million things happening, try to be present during those times so that both you and your child get the most out of those moments.
⇒ Encouraging open communication
Talk with your child often and REALLY listen when they talk to you. Allow your child to express thoughts and feelings without fear of being judged, even when they are disagreeing with you. Explain expectations and reasoning as much as possible and try to find opportunities for your child to participate in decision making.
⇒ Having clear and consistent expectations
Having a system that children understand, such as warnings and consequences, can be helpful to children in learning to make good choices and exercise self-control. Allowing children to be part of setting expectations and consequences can also be beneficial in that they are invested in the outcome. Remember, it is important to follow through with consequences as much as possible. And then of course, don’t forget to praise for good choices!
In short – parents aren’t perfect! There is no one RIGHT way to parent. Parenting is full of positives, but it can also be challenging and frustrating. It is important to set realistic expectations and be forgiving of yourself. You will make many mistakes along the way. Prioritize, ask for help and allow time for yourself.